I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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