I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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