I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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