My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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