I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Randomize
