If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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