if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
