Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
