Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
