not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
