May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
