true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
