I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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