Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
