do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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