yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Randomize
