i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
