Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
