..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
