My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
