I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
