How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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