this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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