I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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