you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
