Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Randomize
