After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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