Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I touched a dick in church today
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Randomize
