As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
