i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
