I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
