Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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