He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Randomize
