there's paper in my vomit.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
