Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
