Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Randomize
