a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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