what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
