So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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