Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
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