I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
