You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
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