You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
