how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm eating all of the evidence.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
In other news, I just burned my penis
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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