Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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