I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
