So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
