3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
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