Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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