Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
