Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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