Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
