i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize
