That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize